Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Value your friends...

In my life, I am incredibly lucky to have several good friends. I can't imagine my life without them, and it's occurred to me recently, not for the first time, that friendship is grossly undervalued. So much of the time, I think that the bond of friendship is considered to be less valuable than the bond between partners, and even the bonds within families. You only have to look at TV shows, movies, books, poems, song lyrics etc, to see what I'm talking about. What's the main theme there? Romantic love, of course, and occasionally family ties. But the thing is that a real, and close friendship can satisfy us in ways that romantic relationships and familial relationships can't.

For most people, romance comes and goes; the intensity, the expectations, the complications, can become too much, which leads to relationships ending. Romance brings with it so many questions. 'Is this person "the one"?', 'What if they're not?', 'What if they are?', 'Am I making a huge mistake?', and so on, and so forth. Then there's the idea of living with a person, of having to live with all of them, not just the bits you like.

But that's not the case with a friend. There's no worrying about whether you will or won't spend the rest of your life with them, or whether they're the right person for you. And, if it drives you crazy that they always leave the milk out, well, most of the time, you don't have to live with it. You can enjoy the person, and who they are, you can be close to them, without having that extra pressure. And, as I said, in the majority of cases, you don't have to put up with your friends 24/7. That said, there are, of course, many wonderful things about being in a romantic relationship. It's just that, in some ways, I think that a friendship provides a lot of the same things that a romantic relationship can; closeness, companionship, etc, without that extra intensity. And that can sometimes be a good thing.

When it comes to families, well, you can't choose them, can you? If you're lucky, that's not a bad thing, but if you're unlucky, it can be horrible. Even loving families have cracks, and growing up, you can't avoid them. Your family is your family, for better or for worse. You have to live with them, for at least some of your life. When it comes to friends, however, you can choose them. You don't have to put up with someone you don't get on with, 'cause there's no obligation to do so.

So, next time you're talking to a good friend, just remember how lucky you are to have them in your life, and tell them so. Trust me, they'll love you for it.