Monday, February 14, 2011

Bi the way, what about us?: A rant on the invisibility of bi people in the fight for rights of same-sex couples...

Today, I saw this ad which both touched and irritated me. The aim of the ad is one with which I completely agree; to bridge the gap between opposite- and same-sex couples in people's minds. It's something that, in my opinion, cannot be stressed enough.


What gets me, though, is the consistent oversight committed by those heading the gay rights movement. Amidst all the stories of families who have gay and straight children, amidst all the parallels drawn between gay and straight couples, there is a group of people whose stories are overlooked. People like me.


Imagine that someone is treated as an equal citizen one day, and a second-class citizen the next. Seems ridiculous, doesn't it? And yet, that's exactly the situation faced by bisexual people under current Australian law, and to varying degrees in the US.


If I were to fall in love with a man, he and I would be given full legal and social recognition, under either US or Australian law. We'd be able to visit each other in hospital if one of us were sick, and be able to make one another's medical wishes known, if need be. Under US law, if he or I were to serve in the army, we'd be able to do so openly, without fear. DADT, which has only just been repealed, would have no effect on us.


But, if I were in a same-sex partnership, it'd be a different story. Marriage wouldn't be an option, in Australia, nor in many US states. Only too recently, under DADT, if either, or both of us, were in the US army, we'd be at risk of being discharged.


These are contradictions which the gay lobbyists seek time and time again to illustrate, through encouraging families with gay members to tell their stories, through ads comparing gay and straight couples; the list goes on. And yet, it seems to me that the most *obvious* illustration of the hypocritical, damaging and negative nature of these policies has not been fully utilised.


It's easy for people who want to distance themselves from 'the gays' to do so, by dismissing them as 'the other', but when it comes to bi people, this isn't so easily done. We're here, and we're in the middle, and it's harder to ignore that. In a lot of ways, bi people, I think, have the potential to be a 'bridge' between gay and straight.  


But instead of being upheld, applauded and supported by the gay rights movement, we are still, for the most part, ignored, by both gay and straight people. And why? Because the gay rights movement, in its own way, actually reinforces a binary that need not exist. By jumping up and down, and asserting their existence, gay people have, inadvertently, cut out 'the middle man', as it were.


That said, of course I'm not denying that there was, and continues to be, a need for gay people to jump up and down. As with any minority, asserting itself is the only way the gay community will get recognition. I just think that bi people could be an essential part of the act, too, and so far, they've not been.


So, if you're out there, and you're bi, speak up! Come on! This is the time! We alone can bridge the gap between heterosexual and homosexual people. We are the ones who can see things from both sides, and that is a rare gift. Let's use it.